The Bedroom Economist

Being a moderate, I’m a huge fan of Ronald Reagan, whose nickname was The Gipper. In fact, there are many moderates that use the term The Gipper to convey great affection. I know I do.

I call my wife The Gipper when we’re in the bedroom because I’m a bedroom economist. Throughout our dating and engagement she really encouraged inflation. This led to a booming bedroom economy, or as we moderates like to call it, a bull market. Sometimes she would induce hyperinflation which, I must admit, wasn’t nearly as terrible as it’s been made out to be.

However, I didn’t realize that inflation was taxable until I got married. That’s when the real bull market reared its ugly head. Like the bloated bills floated through congress, the riders hidden in the fine print of marriage certificates have little to do with riding and a lot to do with austerity. I’m certain that there are many men and women who can relate to this sad tale of no.

I have been trying to raise my inflationary debt ceiling for years. It was hoped that this would encourage our bedroom economy, in the process rekindling our boom years. I am now painfully aware why many marriages enter extended recessionary periods. The cause is simple, inflationary spending cuts. For some bedroom economists these unlucky downturns can even turn into full blown depressions. While this is terrible news for any economist it is exceptionally troubling for bedroom brokers. But there is a solution. Keynes may not fully understand the implications of his fiscal policies, but he surely knows relationships, and what’s required to secure a très bon boudoir.

In order to get my bedroom economy moving forward again, with its relished inflation, I needed to offer tempting stimulus packages. I’ve found that embracing Keynesian economics was the only way to invigorate my economy and encourage healthy growth. Without a tempting stimulus my package could fester in a cold, dark recession for a very long time. A few of the stimuli that have worked include: a nice dinner, jewelry, and a weekend getaway.

If you’re a fan of bedroom economics, and value inflation as much as I do, then you need to embrace economic stimulation.

Inflation is your friend.


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