Trump Endorses Romney (spun news)

Donald Trump, businessman, celebrity, and owner of exotic furry forehead pets has endorsed Mitt Romney for President. It’s rumored that this is part of a new reality show, “Who wants to be a President.” Trump stated that he wouldn’t mount an independent campaign or call President Obama an illegally born Muslim if Romney secures the nomination and if every time one of the remaining candidates drops out of the race he’s allowed to go on national television and say “You’re fired!”

On Thursday Donald Trump and Mitt Romney held a brief joint press conference in Trump’s Las Vegas hotel. It had to be brief as there were numerous reports of oxygen levels dropping immediately following both gas giants squeezing inside such a small space. Trump praised Romney for being tough, smart, sharp, and for effectively destroying the dreams of many former employees.

Trump urged members of the media to vote for Romney so he’ll be unable to work for Bain. “He’s not going to continue to allow bad things to happen to this country if he’s no longer working with Bain. A vote for Mitt’s a vote to save your dreams.”

In response Romney praised Trump for having “an extraordinary ability to understand birth certificates and hipster hair styles” and for being “one of the few who has stood up to say China is cheating, and that it’s not fair because we had a monopoly” in international trade.

Nevada’s caucuses take place this Saturday, and I’m sure the voters look forward to an end of negative campaign commercials. Romney has bought won two of the first four contests, winning the primaries in New Hampshire and Florida by healthy margins due to a healthy checkbook. Both races were predominantly won using negative campaigning, which might backfire in the fall. Gingrich won South Carolina’s primary, while former Senator (and current dog lover) Rick Santorum won Iowa’s caucuses.

What’s interesting about this endorsement is that it appears to have occurred at the last minute. The day before endorsing Romney there were reports that Trump would be endorsing his rival, Newt Gingrich. In related news, it is rumored that Romney’s super PAC has had some unusual expenditures this week, details should be available shortly.

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